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Why Am I So Indecisive? Find Out How to Overcome Indecisiveness!

Have you ever stood in front of a menu, scrolling back and forth, only to end up ordering the same thing you always do? Or maybe you’ve spent hours debating whether to say yes to a new opportunity, but never actually decided. If so, you’re not alone. And you've probably asked yourself way too many times, Why am I so indecisive?

So, why are you so indecisive? Let's find out!

Key Takeaways

  • Indecisiveness often comes from underlying causes, like fear of failure, low self-confidence, perfectionism, or decision fatigue, rather than laziness or lack of intelligence.

  • You can train your decision-making skills with small, consistent habits that reduce overthinking, increase confidence, and simplify choices.

  • You can support the brain’s decision-related functions through neurofeedback tools like Mendi, which provide real-time feedback on prefrontal cortex activity.

  • If indecision makes you feel overwhelmed and affects your life, work, and personal relationships, or if you think it is linked to anxiety, depression, or ADHD, seek support from a mental health professional, who can help you address the root cause.

Why Are You So Indecisive?

decision-making process

At times, everyone struggles to make decisions that fully align with their wishes, goals, and values. This is completely normal.

However, if the inability to make decisions affects your daily life or if you're avoiding making decisions altogether, it may be time to change something. Otherwise, indecision affects your well-being, work performance, and even your relationships with your life partner, family, and friends.

And that change starts with understanding why exactly you do not feel confident enough to make your own decisions.

As such, here are nine of the most common reasons people are indecisive.

1. You May Be Afraid of Failure

Naturally, fear stops you before you even start. It's impossible to make a decision under the unbearable pressure of making no mistakes, of always doing things right.

And this fear runs deeper than surface-level worry. In fact, it often shows how you view yourself and your self-worth. People take failure personally. They forget that every one of us experiences from time to time, that it's a normal, universal human experience. Many of us are also afraid of the implications of a decision (e.g., we avoid considering a new job offer because we think we might get rejected or, even worse, we get accepted and then we find out that the job is too big of a responsibility).

Even Thomas Edison himself, the great innovator, stated, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

2. You May Be a People Pleaser

If you feel like you always need to consider other people's wishes when you need to make a decision, you may be a people pleaser. This need to keep everyone happy creates impossible decision-making scenarios. When we prioritize others' opinions above our own, every choice becomes a complex puzzle of conflicting expectations.

People pleasers often struggle because they've never learned to identify their true preferences. Instead, they are experts at reading rooms and anticipating what others need or want to hear. This skill, while socially valuable, leaves them disconnected from their real needs and wishes. As a result, decision-making feels incredibly uncomfortable.

3. You May Be Dealing With Cognitive Overload

Your brain has limits. When it is bombarded with information, it feels impossible to make a decision. Think of standing in a supermarket with hundreds of options: even buying cereal feels draining!

That is cognitive overload, and it is not necessarily linked to having too many choices. You may be dealing with too much information at work, or you may have too many important tasks on your to-do list. And because of this, your mind is constantly processing information, and then you find it difficult to decide whether you want a cappuccino or an espresso for breakfast. In short, the brain cannot sort through clutter when it is overwhelmed.

4. You May Be a Perfectionist

A study aimed at exploring the prevalence of perfectionism among young people aged 16-25 showed that 85.4% of participants had perfectionist traits.

Perfection feels like a strength, but in reality, it usually makes you feel paralyzed. You wait for the “perfect” choice. You want the ideal outcome. You think one wrong choice will ruin everything. And because of this, you stall.

The truth is, perfect choices do not exist. Every path has flaws. Every decision carries risks. When you chase flawless outcomes, you stay stuck in planning, revising, and tweaking. You may spend more time preparing than actually doing.

And if this isn't enough... Imagine that there are three types of perfectionism, according to psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett:

  • Self-oriented perfectionism (unrealistic expectations for yourself)

  • Other-oriented perfectionism (unrealistic expectations for others)

  • Socially-prescribed perfectionism (believing that others have unrealistic expectations for you)

5. Your Parents May Not Have Allowed You to Make Decisions

Childhood shapes how you handle choices. If your parents made every decision for you, you may have never built decision-making skills. You learned to follow, not to choose. As a consequence, now, as an adult, even small choices feel daunting.

It takes practice to build strong decision-making skills. If you've never made important decisions yourself, you probably lack confidence as well. You might feel guilty for making independent choices. Low confidence can also cause you to doubt your ability to make the “right” call. It’s not your fault. It’s learned behavior.

6. You May Be Dealing With Decision Fatigue

Every choice takes energy, from what to wear to what career path to follow. By the end of the day, even simple choices feel impossible. This is decision fatigue, and it manifests through procrastination, avoidance, or defaulting to whatever is easiest. You might order the same meal every night just to avoid choosing. You might say I don’t care because you truly have no energy left to decide.

Our surroundings make things even more difficult. We've got so many options! There are hundreds of cereal options at the grocery store. There are dozens of streaming services with endless entertainment possibilities! There are thousands of websites that provide a never-ending stream of information that influences how you make decisions.

7. You May Be Burnt Out

Burnout doesn’t just make you tired. It numbs your ability to think, plan, and even care. When you’re exhausted, stressed, and emotionally drained, every decision feels heavy. Even basic choices, like answering an email or planning dinner, can feel like climbing a mountain.

Chronic stress and exhaustion can impair the brain regions responsible for executive function. These areas handle planning, prioritizing, and choosing between options. When you're burnt out, these systems operate at reduced capacity. Suddenly, the decisions you've previously made without even thinking now feel overwhelming and confusing.

8. You May Be an Overthinker

Overthinking traps you in an endless loop of analysis. You replay scenarios, imagine outcomes, and analyze every detail. Instead of moving forward, you get stuck in the “what if” territory. And the more you think, the less you act.

This happens because your brain confuses thinking with solving. You believe that if you just think harder, you’ll find the correct choice (which takes us back to point 4). But overthinking rarely leads to clarity. It leads to exhaustion. By the time you’re done analyzing, the moment to act has often passed.

9. You May Have a Mental Health Condition

Several mental health conditions directly impact decision-making abilities. For example, major depressive disorder can make choices feel pointless or overwhelming. Anxiety, on the other hand, amplifies the potential consequences of every option, while ADHD affects one's ability to weigh alternatives systematically. There's even a disorder called aboulomania that causes people to experience pathological indecisiveness, but it’s extremely rare.

When this is the case, willpower alone isn’t enough. Telling yourself to “just decide” doesn’t solve the deeper problem. This is why you should talk to a mental health professional in this situation. A clinical psychologist can assess your situation in-depth to identify the root cause and then provide you with the necessary tools to overcome indecisiveness.

How to Become More Decisive: 11 Proven Strategies

Developing stronger decision-making skills is like strengthening a muscle. The more you practice making choices confidently and efficiently, the easier it becomes to navigate life's crossroads with clarity and purpose.

In the following sections, you'll discover 11 research-backed methods that can truly help you become more decisive!

1. Practice Making Decisions for Yourself

Decision-making improves through deliberate practice. When you consciously engage your decision-making abilities, you strengthen neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex that support executive function.

Here's what you can try:

  • Begin your morning by making effective decisions for yourself, like picking your clothes or planning your breakfast.

  • When you’re out at a restaurant, try ordering what you want without scanning for approval or asking what others are having.

  • Keep a small note or a digital list to track the choices you made on your own, and jot down how they turned out, so you can see your progress.

  • Notice if you defer to others out of habit. Each time, push yourself gently to offer your own input, even if you’re unsure.

  • As you become more comfortable with making small, quick decisions, increase the difficulty by deciding on a weekend plan.

2. Develop Self-Awareness

Self-awareness forms the foundation of confident decision-making by helping you understand your values, preferences, and patterns. You can identify when exactly you hesitate to make choices and whether there are any situations that trigger your decision paralysis.

Here's what you can try:

  • Take time regularly to reflect on what matters most to you: your core values, priorities, and the goals you want to achieve.

  • Notice your emotional state when faced with decisions: are you calm, anxious, excited, fearful?

  • Ask yourself, Am I making this choice for myself, or am I hoping to please others?

  • Journal about your decision-making, describing situations when you were proud of your choices and times when you regretted not speaking up.

  • Talk with people you trust and ask for honest feedback on decision patterns you might not see yourself.

3. Learn How to Let Things Go

Let go of obsessing over decisions. Let go of chasing perfection. This will take a huge burden off your shoulders. When you accept that most decisions can be adjusted or reversed, you'll find it much less frightening to make a choice.

Here's what you can try:

  • Remind yourself regularly that most choices aren’t permanent. You can often adjust later, change course, or try again.

  • If you catch yourself ruminating about a decision, set a mental time limit for how long you’ll dwell, then give yourself permission to move on.

  • Practice letting go of other persons' opinions about your decisions. If a choice fits your values or goals, allow yourself to be okay with some disapproval.

  • Experiment with delegating small decisions or responsibilities.

  • Accept that you can’t predict every result. Make the best decision with what you know, and then focus on what comes next instead of what might have happened.

4. Nourish Your Brain and Cognitive Functions

Your brain is the control center for all decisions, big and small. Memory problems and brain fog, for example, can really affect your decision-making.

Therefore, keeping your brain healthy gives you the mental resourcefulness to see options clearly, handle stress, and bounce back from mistakes. Ultimately, investing in brain health is one of the most practical ways to sharpen your decisiveness.

Here's what you can try:

  • Prioritize sleep by setting a routine bedtime and limiting screens at night.

  • Maintain regular meals with balanced nutrition so your blood sugar stays steady.

  • Physical exercise, even brisk walking, increases blood flow to the brain, helping you think more quickly and more creatively.

  • Drink enough water throughout the day. Even mild dehydration can directly lead to poor judgment and slower reactions.

  • Limit social media and news intake to avoid cognitive overload and unnecessary anxiety.

  • Schedule short brain breaks throughout your day. Even 5 minutes to breathe deeply or stretch can refresh your focus for upcoming decisions.

5. Train Your Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex plays a crucial role in decision-making, and like other parts of the brain, it can be strengthened through targeted training. That's exactly what Mendi can help you with. It's a neurofeedback device that uses cutting-edge fNIRS technology to train your prefrontal cortex by promoting neuroplasticity.

Here's what you need to do:

  • Wear the Mendi headband and play a game on our app.

  • Focus on the ball you see on the screen. The goal is to be relaxed and focused, and your mind needs to be clear.

  • As you become more focused, your prefrontal cortex activity increases.

  • The sensors in the headband register this change and translate it into positive feedback (the ball on the screen rises and your score increases).

  • If you lose your focus or your mind starts wandering, the ball on the screen falls (the positive feedback is taken away).

  • This feedback loop, which works based on a learning technique called operant conditioning, can help you strengthen your prefrontal cortex and, therefore, the skills it is responsible for.

6. Work on Your Perfectionism

Perfectionism creates impossible standards that paralyze decision-making, but it can be addressed through specific techniques. Here's what you can try:

  • Start by catching all-or-nothing thinking: most decisions are not total successes or failures.

  • When making a decision, give yourself permission to choose something that is sufficient, not flawless. Try picking the first decent option and see how it goes.

  • Set practical time limits for your decision-making processes.

  • Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that it's alright to make mistakes. They are part of growth and do not mean you are incapable.

  • Keep a log of times you acted despite being unsure or “imperfect." Often, the outcomes will be just as positive as when you spent hours deliberating.

  • Challenge your standards by testing them: try lowering your benchmarks slightly and observe if the results are noticeably worse, or even just as good as before.

  • Avoid comparing your decisions or performance constantly to others. Stay focused on your own values and progress.

7. Talk Things Out or Write Things Down

Expressing your thoughts aloud or on paper can really help you see the bigger picture. When you externalize your thinking, it becomes easier to untangle complicated options, spot your priorities, and see new solutions. Besides, talking things out with someone you trust or writing your thoughts down can also help reduce stress and overthinking. A win-win!

Here's what you can try:

  • Schedule regular decision check-ins where you talk out important choices before acting.

  • If you prefer privacy, journal about your difficult decisions. Describe the situation, list your options, write about your feelings, and see if you can find clearer patterns.

  • Imagine describing your choice to a future version of yourself or to someone you respect. Would you be proud of that explanation?

  • Record your thoughts on your phone if you’re short on time. Listening back can make you find strong or weak spots in your reasoning.

  • Try organizing your points visually: pros and cons lists, mind maps, or flow charts can turn tangled ideas into organized information.

8. Narrow Down Your Options

decision-making

The more choices you have, the more confused and overwhelmed you feel, and the stronger the internal conflict. So, try to narrow down your options. This can really make everything less stressful! Here's how you can do this:

  • Before exploring your options, define what actually matters to you: set 2-3 must-have criteria to rule out the nonstarters.

  • Stick to the rule of three when you can: try to compare no more than three options at a time, whether you’re shopping or making career moves.

  • Set deadlines for finding options (like one evening for small decisions, a week for big decisions) to avoid getting lost in endless research or analysis.

  • For decisions with lots of technical detail (such as buying appliances or planning a trip), identify up to five top features you care about, then stick to those as your sorting filter.

9. Build Confidence

To be able to make informed decisions that you trust, decisions that you will not regret or second guess, you need to be confident and reduce your self-doubt. This doesn't mean that all the choices will be correct. It simply means that you'll trust your judgment to make a final decision, and even if that decision is not the best, it will represent a stepping stone toward your future self.

Here's what you can try:

  • Start by recognizing and celebrating your strengths and past achievements, no matter how small, to reinforce positive self-belief.

  • Practice positive self-talk by replacing negative or doubtful thoughts with empowering affirmations that reflect your potential.

  • Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth and provide honest, constructive feedback.

  • Learn to accept mistakes as natural parts of learning rather than signs of failure, deepening your resilience.

  • Develop new skills continuously to expand your competence and sense of mastery in areas important to you.

10. Establish a Routine

making decisions with a routine

Decision fatigue. That says it all. When you have too many decisions to make, you can quickly start feeling anxious. Because of this, routines (even if they seem boring at first!) can really help you preserve mental energy for more meaningful decisions. Here's what you can try:

  • Develop consistent morning and evening routines that cover basic decisions, like waking times, clothing, and meals.

  • Automate meal planning by preparing weekly menus and rotating favorite dishes, so daily food choices don’t drain your energy.

  • Create templates or checklists for repetitive work tasks, emails, or meetings to reduce mental load.

  • Remove unnecessary options in daily life: simplify your wardrobe, streamline your apps, and minimize clutter to reduce decision points.

11. Try Mindfulness to Clear Your Mind and See the Bigger Picture

Mindfulness can help you detach from overwhelming emotions and distracting thoughts, as well as help you see things more clearly, possibly even from a new perspective that aligns with your true self. Here's what you can try:

  • Practice deep breathing before you need to make a decision to calm your nervous system and center your attention.

  • Focus on present-moment awareness instead of thinking about the future or remembering about wrong decisions you once made.

  • Observe your thought patterns without judgment. Try to notice when you procrastinate or ruminate - without self-criticism!

  • Incorporate brief mindfulness breaks into your day to prevent cognitive overload and maintain focus.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I stop being so indecisive?

To be less indecisive, start by making small, low-stakes decisions to build confidence. Over time, create routines to avoid decision fatigue, limit your choices, work on your confidence, and let go of perfectionism to train your decision-making skills.

Why do I struggle with making decisions?

You may be struggling to make decisions because you're afraid of failure, you always overthink situations, you're a perfectionist, or you experience cognitive overload.

Is being indecisive a red flag?

Being indecisive can be a red flag, but it's important to approach this trait without judgment, as it can stem from anxiety or depression.

What is the disorder where you can't make decisions?

Pathological indecisiveness is sometimes linked to a rare condition called aboulomania. More commonly, decision-making struggles occur with anxiety, depression, or ADHD.